After passing 9th grade, with a lot of happiness, excitement and courage, I was ready to begin my 10th grade. Initially, I promised myself that I would deal with this happily, but it turned out to be somehow different. I decided so because I saw my elder sister dealing with this and her journey was somehow hectic yet inspiring.
In one month only, I broke my promise. When everyone says it tough be a 10th grade student, trust me it is surely. My 10th came with a lot of friends initially, a lot of plans and dreams. The dream to be on poster because of having +95% and seeing my parents crying seeing that. going on the other hand, the negative side was a bit disappointing. 10th gave me depression, anxiety, FOMOs, and low self-esteem.
Recently I just gave my first set of exams of 10th, they were not on track to be honest. Not because I didn't study, because it was tough for me to manage. From sleeping till the morning, to studying whole night, I saw myself through a lot of stages.
Here are some problems which I observed commonly in every 10th aspirant along with their solution on my experience -
DEPRESSION - Whenever I say that I am having a depression to my psychiatrist sister, she replies by "you don't even know what's depression is!" Well, I agree in most of the cases, it totally feels like we are in a serious illness but no we are not. The reality is we all are fighting in our battles and just can't cope up with parents, friends, and studies. because of this, we overthink and put assumptions which are away far from reality. Recently, I was feeling as if my mom dad is upset from me and used to get depressed thinking this. And they, on the opposite side are chilling and teasing me by saying "10th Hai tera 10th" which literally means this your board year!
I am curing myself from this by keeping myself engage in some or the other thing. This truly works as because of that you don't even have time to think. Adding to this I started to share my feeling with them, which clarifies my doubts. plus, I make a long strong wall with small holes between everyone and me. If something is making me feel bad or depressed, that wall bounces back and if something said is necessary for me, it enters my mind with the help of tiny pores.
LOW SELF-ESTEEM- This was something that changed me a lot. I saw myself from being a confident girl who is participating in activities and speaking on stage, to being a who stopped participating and was so underconfident. In all the public speaking competitions, my hand use to shake.
well, to be honest I have not fully overcome this problem, but I have realized that at each point of your life, you can never satisfy everyone. There will be always someone who will be unsatisfied with you. because of this I started caring less about the next person's thinking and started to present myself as the real me.
ANXIETY - Anxiety is a mental state where one worries a lot about future and fears. It is a normal part of human life. Sometimes it triggers me a lot. Just like every other 10th student, in me, it was causes by Academic pressure, society pressure and family dynamics. I was getting anxiety attacks and use to feel everything is worthless.
Till now, I am not able to fully recover from this, but I surely learned to control it by focusing more on my strengths. I started to give more time to myself and make out the time for something I like. One day I baked a cake and the other day played guitar. These activities give me peace and holds the real presence inside me.
TIME MANAGEMENT - Time management sucks a lot at this point. "I don't have time" was my everyday sentence. I just couldn't figure it out and wasn't knowing to do what at first.
I started to priorities my work and created To - Do -List every day. It gave me clarity and made each day easy going.
LACK OF CLEARITY - I was knowing my goal clearly but didn't knew how to achieve. because of lack of clarity of what to do and what not to do, I messed up.
I started by improving my mindset. Rather than being good at everything, I started to focus on a thing. "You won't be able to cut a tree if you hit the tree with axe at different spot but will surely be able to cut it if you hit it at one particular spot" was something I realized. Adding to this, I narrowed my approach and then slowly, I expanded it. It forced me to clarify my goals and gave good results which boosted my confidence.
In a shell, still I am struggling with few of these, but I know surely that I would see my mom dad happily crying after seeing my results. For sure, my parents after reading this will be like - she knows everything, but this stupid girl is still not doing it. I know I know .... but I am trying, and I strongly believe that I will achieve my goal.
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