Being a 10th class student

 

After passing 9th grade, with a lot of happiness, excitement and courage, I was ready to begin my 10th grade. Initially, I promised myself that I would deal with this happily, but it turned out to be somehow different. I decided so because I saw my elder sister dealing with this and her journey was somehow hectic yet inspiring. 
In one month only, I broke my promise. When everyone says it tough be a 10th grade student, trust me it is surely. My 10th came with a lot of friends initially, a lot of plans and dreams. The dream to be on poster because of having +95% and seeing my parents crying seeing that. going on the other hand, the negative side was a bit disappointing. 10th gave me depression, anxiety, FOMOs, and low self-esteem. 
Recently I just gave my first set of exams of 10th, they were not on track to be honest. Not because I didn't study, because it was tough for me to manage. From sleeping till the morning, to studying whole night, I saw myself through a lot of stages. 
Here are some problems which I observed commonly in every 10th aspirant along with their solution on my experience - 

DEPRESSION - Whenever I say that I am having a depression to my psychiatrist sister, she replies by "you don't even know what's depression is!" Well, I agree in most of the cases, it totally feels like we are in a serious illness but no we are not. The reality is we all are fighting in our battles and just can't cope up with parents, friends, and studies. because of this, we overthink and put assumptions which are away far from reality. Recently, I was feeling as if my mom dad is upset from me and used to get depressed thinking this. And they, on the opposite side are chilling and teasing me by saying "10th Hai tera 10th" which literally means this your board year!
I am curing myself from this by keeping myself engage in some or the other thing. This truly works as because of that you don't even have time to think. Adding to this I started to share my feeling with them, which clarifies my doubts. plus, I make a long strong wall with small holes between everyone and me. If something is making me feel bad or depressed, that wall bounces back and if something said is necessary for me, it enters my mind with the help of tiny pores.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM- This was something that changed me a lot. I saw myself from being a confident girl who is participating in activities and speaking on stage, to being a who stopped participating and was so underconfident. In all the public speaking competitions, my hand use to shake. 
well, to be honest I have not fully overcome this problem, but I have realized that at each point of your life, you can never satisfy everyone. There will be always someone who will be unsatisfied with you. because of this I started caring less about the next person's thinking and started to present myself as the real me. 

ANXIETY - Anxiety is a mental state where one worries a lot about future and fears. It is a normal part of human life. Sometimes it triggers me a lot. Just like every other 10th student, in me, it was causes by Academic pressure, society pressure and family dynamics. I was getting anxiety attacks and use to feel everything is worthless.
Till now, I am not able to fully recover from this, but I surely learned to control it by focusing more on my strengths. I started to give more time to myself and make out the time for something I like. One day I baked a cake and the other day played guitar. These activities give me peace and holds the real presence inside me. 

TIME MANAGEMENT - Time management sucks a lot at this point. "I don't have time" was my everyday sentence. I just couldn't figure it out and wasn't knowing to do what at first. 
I started to priorities my work and created To - Do -List every day. It gave me clarity and made each day easy going. 

LACK OF CLEARITY - I was knowing my goal clearly but didn't knew how to achieve. because of lack of clarity of what to do and what not to do, I messed up.
I started by improving my mindset. Rather than being good at everything, I started to focus on a thing. "You won't be able to cut a tree if you hit the tree with axe at different spot but will surely be able to cut it if you hit it at one particular spot" was something I realized. Adding to this, I narrowed my approach and then slowly, I expanded it. It forced me to clarify my goals and gave good results which boosted my confidence. 

In a shell, still I am struggling with few of these, but I know surely that I would see my mom dad happily crying after seeing my results. For sure, my parents after reading this will be like - she knows everything, but this stupid girl is still not doing it. I know I know .... but I am trying, and I strongly believe that I will achieve my goal. 

Nepal - Roof of the World

Nepal plan was an unexpected plan to me. honestly at first, I was not even interested in it and was not happy. the only thing that brought me into this trip and made me excited was MOMOS. My smarty dad gave me bride of momos and I took it. But deep down I knew this trip would be a blast of culture, heritage and tradition and it was for sure. 

Nepal is often described as roof of the world, and it is surely one. we did our journey from Ahmedabad via Delhi via Kathmandu. Our entry was marked at Kathmandu and then shortly we had a flight to Pokhara. so, we changed our flights 3 times in a single day. next day we went to Jomsom.

LAND OF MUSTANG = JOMSOM 

Jomsom is more of a scattered city. from airport there was a street of maximum 2 km which was filled with hotels and restaurants. My hotel was in front of Mt Annapurna and the view was amazing. we explored following places:

DHUMBA LAKE 

It is located to the west of jomson. The view is truly mesmerizing. there is pathway at the boundary of this lake. There is a belief that once this lake turned red and then a Buddhist monk performed some rituals and turned it back to natural color. 

LOCAL VILLAGES [KAGBENI, THINI, MARPHA & TUKUCHE VILLAGE] 

As I mentioned earlier, jomson is a scattered city. we went to nearby villages. the drive was about 45 minutes to 1 hour. These villages were filled with thakali and Tibetan people which were heartwarming, respectful and loving. There were even small Buddhist temples. Each village was in between the mountains which gave it a unique beauty. the houses in these villages had a bunch of woods kept on the rooftop which was a part of their culture. 

MUKTINATH TEMPLE 

Muktinath temple has its own natural beauty, religious significance and heritage. this temple is dedicated to lord Vishnu of Hindus and lord buddha of Buddhists. According to our tradition, we took shower at 108 waterspouts, known as Mukti Dhara, and the two holy ponds, Mukti Kunda and Saraswati Kunda. it is strongly believed that this shower purifies us deeply and thoroughly cleans the sins we performed. the water temperature was about -4-degree Celsius, but it was not affecting anyone present there due to the unshaken faith in God and their madness to perform all the traditions.

This temple included a long walk for about 30 minutes and a climb of 400 stairsteps. The way was filled with restaurants, hotels and street shops which had shawls, bags, Wollen cloths and what not. The shopkeepers inviting us to shops was so sweet of them. they really have nice hospitality. We were lucky enough to have supportive weather. 

CITY OF LAKES = POKHARA 

We had road trip from jomsom to Pokhara due to unfavorable climatic conditions. But the view we got was worth it. we saw waterfalls, rivers and mountains all over the trip. as per our planning we had 3 days stay in Pokhara. we explored the following places - 

DEVIS FALL 

It is a waterfall named after a Swiss couple who once visited to this place. While swimming in its water, the overflow made the girl drowned. Her body was recovered after three days. On her father's request the waterfall was named after the girl's name as Davi's Fall. The waterflow was very less due to our visit in summers.

MAHENDRA CAVE 

The cave was named Mahendra after it was visited by the then King Mahendra. There are underground stairs and after that, there is a small temple of lord shiva. after the temple, there are some more stairs which leads to a beautiful waterfall. unfortunately, the waterfall couldn't be viewed properly due to less light, and the stairs are located at a distance from waterfall due to safety purposes. 

SHANTI STUPA 

As the name suggests, it was a haven of quietness. It was located at a high altitude and thus it included a drive of 1 hour and a walk of 30 minutes. The structure of stupa was like a semicircular part at top which was balanced with square shape at bottom. 

This temple is dedicated to lord buddha. it described buddha's life- where he was born {LUMBINI}, where he gained knowledge {BODH GAYA}, where he gave his first talk on Buddhism {SARNATH} and where he got his ultimate happiness {KUSINAGARA}. Visitors enter from east side which is done to imitate the movement of sun in the sky. 

BINDABASINI TEMPLE

This temple is dedicated to goddess Bindabasini, and is situated at the top of a hill. Along with the main temple, there are even other temples of lord Ganesha, shiv and hanuman. 

PARAGLIDING PARADISE 

This was the thing about which I was most scared yet wanted to try it out. for 20 mins, I flied in air as a bird. we went to the top of a hill by drive and then we had to wear the safety belts and all. Then with the air we had a small run and then finally reached sky. 

CITY OF LIGHT = KATHMANDU

We had a morning drive to Kathmandu on the very next day. We choose road trip due to our urge to visit Manakamana temple which comes in between Pokhara and Kathmandu. 

MANAKAMANA TEMPLE

This temple is located in the Gorkha district of Nepal which is dedicated to Hindu goddess Bhagwati. the word manakamana is made up from two words - mana meaning heart and Kamana meaning wish, which means this temple is for the Heart's wish. Here the goddess offerings are made up from 5 natural elements (also called panchtatva) which are soil, air, water, earth and ether. the offering basket includes flower, Diya, rice, cloth and many more. 

This temple is located at a height, and we reach there with the help of Ropeway. after that there was a small walk and the road was filled with items like evil eye, offering basket, wood items and what not! To my Suprise, it had the longest que for entering the main temple. It was about 3-4 km. Adding to this on our visit day, there was some ritual of cutting goat and offering her which took the delay of 2 hours. All the way, none thought to go back due to their quest of performing rituals and taking blessings. 

PASHUPATINATH TEMPLE 

Pashupatinath temple is situated on the bank of Baghmati River. the word Pashupati means protector of animals which is described to God shiva. Beside the main temple there are a number of other smaller temples dedicated to many deities.
Inside the main temple of Pashupatinath, there is a four-faced Shiva Lingam. people say that The Shiva Lingam is believed to have five faces, from which one is invisible. worshipers strongly believe that even once in your life if you step foot on Pashupatinath and go inside the door and look at the four-faced avatar of Shiva, you’ll go directly to heaven. 

BHAKTAPUR DISTRICT 

Bhaktapur is like an open museum. It has a number of temples, monuments, courtyard, traditional houses, artistic stones and monasteries built in different times of the history. This district highlights Newari lifestyle and their appealing traditions and rituals. This beautiful city with architectural masterpieces, artistic temple and ancient paintings, has been able to preserve in historical essence. 

PATAN DARBAR SQAURE 

My dad's friend, Ashok uncle took us this place early in the morning. He helped us to know more about this place' history, architecture and culture. It is located in Lalitpur district. It has the most fabulous fusion of Hinduism and Buddhism. This area was so attractive because of its various temples and architect masterpieces. 

In this area, running vehicles were in minority and people walking was in majority which was a big difference as compared to Indian busy cities. Indians truly need to be inspired by this culture. 

In a nutshell, Nepal helped me to connect with myself. The view replenished my soul. Nepal trip made me realize certain things. There is something magical about this place as it has the power to make you religious. I will never forget the momos I ate here and will wish to visit here again. 

Dhammapada volume 1 (part 2)

 ⤷ In 4th chapter "Just lucky, I Guess!" I learned these following important things:

Trust = Trust is easy when things go smooth and easy, but it is worthless. when things become hard, difficult, impossible, it becomes illogical to trust and you can still trust, then it becomes a transforming force. 

I also got agreed to the fact mentioned, that every person should have a different religion. this is so because every person is so unique and different. A religious person can learn from bible, Dhammpada, or Gita, but they will not follow Jesus, Buddha or Krishna in detail. It is so because they are totally different, and we can't be exactly same as someone. 

 Being a rebel = This chapter says all religious people are rebellious people. It is so because all the religious people have been adventurous, and explorer thought their life. Buddha, Mohammed and Jesus could have followed their parent's religion, it would have been so easy, but they didn't. They went on search and risked their life. When they risked so much, life showers new treasures on them and then, a new religion, new insight, and a new vision was born in this world. 

⤷ In 5th chapter "Wakefulness is Life" the author justifies his opinion that all of us are asleep. This chapter has a lot of short meaningful stories. The author had described this meaningful poem, and in detail the author explained the meaning of each line wonderfully. The poem is:

The fool sleeps,

as if he were already dead,

but the master is awake.

and he lives forever.

He watches.

He is clear. 

How happy he is!

for he sees that wakefulness is life

How happy he is!

following the path of awakened

With great perseverance 

he meditates, seeking,

freedom and happiness

so awake, reflect and watch.

work with care and attention 

live in the way.

and the light will grow in you. 

By watching and working

the master makes for himself an island.

which the flood cannot overwhelm. 

Dhammapada volume 1 (part 1)

 ⤷ In first chapter "We are what we think" it describes the feelings of our everyday. as I mentioned earlier, author speaks the unspeakable things beautifully. Top 5 important things which expended my horizon of thinking are as follows:

Lies and Truth = I am longing to be conscious, it's because of my quest of truth which is not far away to find. it's hard to achieve because of my investments of lie. Lie are escape, more like comfortable dreams but dreams are followed by tremendous frustration which is followed by failure.  

Silence and Words = Silence can't be distorted and that's its power. We won't understand it, but we can't misunderstand it. On other hand words are dangerous as the person's meaning stays with himself only and we give the words a different meaning.

Right and Wrong = author tells us that whatsoever happens is right. You may think it is wrong as u have a certain idea of right but when you look without prejudice, nothing is wrong.

Senses and Awareness = senses are something which keeps on changing, hence it gives us no strength which means they don't give a constant foundation. Whereas awareness is something which is behind senses, they are not the eyes which we see. 

Life and Death = death is our future, so thinking about death means thinking about future. but life is something which can only be lived, not can be thought. all that we need is to be alert and live fully. 

⤷ In second chapter "A Formless Fragrance," the title is describing Buddhism as a formless fragrance. Top 5 things I learned and will remember life longingly are:

Three M's = the three M's- music, mathematics and meditation are the purest forms. music is pure art, mathematics is the purest science and meditation is pure religion. {the trimuti}

The god-loving person = A religious person is God-loving person not god-fearing person. But the priest depends on fear, he exploits our fear, he creates fear in you. His whole business depends on fear. 

Be Unoccupied = well, keeping a hobby makes u occupied all the time, but being unoccupied gives you peace. For example, we wait whole 6 days for Sunday, but on Sunday we do our hobbies which doesn't even gives peace and rest. Rather than hobbies use opportunities. remain in the empty time, utterly occupied. 

Don't feel infuriated = people are going to invent many stories. if you become infuriated in a way you help them! don't feel infuriated, otherwise you will be playing into their hands. 

Love to laugh = learn to laugh, laughter is your protection. It's not easy but try, when you laugh on something which is against you, people will see you as stupid. 

⤷ In third chapter "Know the false as false," the title is telling us to listen to our heart, then we will know truth as truth and false as false. we need to first begin seeing false as false. Top 5 things I learned are:

"Look into your heart" = here, the author is trying to give us courage to follow our own nature. he wants us to be brave enough to listen to your own heart and go accordingly.

"follow your nature"= follow your nature means to flow with yourself. there is a small voice inside you, listen to it, it will guide you. 

Characters and consciousness= Characters are the inventions of the politicians and consciousness is our behavior. character do not follow consciousness.

Stop your thoughts = just become indifferent to them, unconcerned. stop your thoughts, don't pay attention. sit silently inside and watch. here watch means to be alert. 

pass the vacuum = passing a vacuum is difficult, but once you have passed it you will surely know the truth and find peace. if the truth is known then the peace will itself follow the truth like a shadow. 

Dhammapada - The way of Buddha

I have been started reading the book Dhammapada from last month. Its a volume of 12 books. Honestly, it seems boring but it's the life lessoning book in the simplest language you can ever read. I started with the first volume and it's the best book I have ever read. As I mentioned in my other book review, I find hard to keep up with series or volumes, but I just can't wait to read the other volume.

 The word "Dhammapada" has two words "dhamma" and "pada". Dhamma means path of truth, justice, the ultimate law which keeps the whole world together, righteousness, and discipline. Pada means path, step, foundation, and foot. This book will describe these meanings desirably. Here he described the readers by the word "Bodhisattva" which are the persons with potential to be awake. 

 Each chapter will give a thousand of concepts that are everyday based. This book speaks the unspeakable concepts beautifully. Review of each blog is also posted separately. 

 All I could conclude is that this book is a must to be read book. Everyone should definitely check out this book. I assure reading this book will never be regretting. 

The white tiger

The book “the white tiger” is written by an Indian writer and journalist Arvind Adiga. White tiger has won 40th booker award in 2008 and a movie is also made on it.

 It is the story of Balram Halwai s life who declared himself as an entrepreneur. He writes a letter to Mr. premier Jiabao in his luxurious office in Bangalore. but the story starts from his village named Laxmanghar where he described his miserable childhood. Then he went to Dhanbad’s rich family to offer his service. He was then a driver of Mr Ashok and his wife Pinky Madam. Ashok showed him fake emotions, which he realized lately. 

When he realized it, he was so angry. Then he made a plan to murder him. He knew that if he got caught the Ashok s family would kill his family so he did everything very carefully. When they were in car, Balram pretended as there is a mechanical problem in car. When Ashok went near the tier, he murdered him there. Then he took the money from his house and escaped to Bangalore. 

In Bangalore, he created a taxi company called the WHITE TIGER DRIVERS which bought all the taxi driver home safely at night.

He mentioned in the letter to Mr. premier Jiabao that He didn’t have a fear to be caught as it was worth and it gave him a life as a free man and not as a servant.  

This book has emotions, suspense and is really enjoyable. Those who want to start reading books, they must try on this book. I will highly recommend to all the beginners.

The keepers of the lost city

The book “keepers of the lost city” is written by American author Shannon messenger. This book was a New York times bestseller. a movie is also coming out on this.

In this book you will meet a 12 yr old girl studying in high school named Sophie. She had a secret talent- TELEPHATHY. One day she meets a boy named Fitz. Fitz was also a telepath and her first friend. He reveals to her that she is an elf, one who is separated from her family. Their family is searching them desperately. He also takes her away to a lost city in elven kingdom. This was the first book and there are many more books further in this series

This book is fantastic. Those who are die hearted fans of harry potter can try this. However, I didn’t like it so much because it is too hard to keep up with this series. It’s because I don’t prefer series over novels.